


Who Lives, Who Dies

by EmboldenedBirdbrain



Series: The Unimaginable [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda, The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Finale Predictions, Jon dies, M/M, Misery, Songfic, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, The opposite of a fix-it, martin blackwood will not be okay, tim is back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:34:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27218005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmboldenedBirdbrain/pseuds/EmboldenedBirdbrain
Summary: Jon knows what it takes to defeat Elias, and he can't do it. inspired by Hamilton's monologue from "The World Was Wide Enough."
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Series: The Unimaginable [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1987357
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	Who Lives, Who Dies

_ “I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory.” _

Jon is staring Elias down with all of his eyes. They both know what has to happen. Elias, or Jonah, or whatever he is now, is waiting. He won’t be for long. He’s waited for this. They both have.

_ “Is this where it gets me? On my feet, several feet ahead of me?” _

One of them, maybe both, won’t survive this. Before, if Jon had killed him, it would have been over for everyone connected to him. Is that still the case? Does it even matter, if he has the chance to end the suffering of millions?

_ “I see it coming- do I run or fire my gun or let it be? There is no beat, no melody.” _

He doesn’t make the first move. Elias does. He can See Jon, every quaking, shifting, fading part of him, and Jon hasn’t been this afraid in a while. Should he do something? Is there something he  _ can  _ do? 

He wants this to mean something. He wants it to make sense. But it doesn’t, and maybe it never has. 

_ “If I throw away my shot, is this how you remember me? What if this bullet is my legacy?” _

The Eye is taking over. If Jon doesn’t act now, he won’t be able to. And how must Martin feel? Martin, who always thought he could make the world better. How awful it would be to disappoint him now. He can’t. He won’t do that. He pushes back. He tries to pull the Eye shut. He prays.

_ “Legacy. What is a legacy?” _

But what’s the point? What’s to say the world will go back to normal? What  _ is  _ normal, anymore? Will things go back to the way they were? Is there some sort of order to fill the vacuum?

_ “It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see.” _

It doesn’t matter. It never has. What matters is that Jon is fighting. He isn’t fighting to fix things, he realizes. He’s fighting so that the potential for things to be fixed can remain.

He also realizes in the same breath that the Eye cannot close itself. Hands shaking, he gives Martin the signal. Martin does nothing except shake his head. I can’t do it, he says.

_ “I wrote some notes at the beginning of a song someone will sing for me… you great unfinished symphony, you sent for me!” _

He knows Martin can do it. Whether Martin believes it or not is of little importance anymore. Martin is good, and kind, and he can bring the world back. It wasn’t ever Jon’s role to fix things. He knows that now, and he’s more okay with it than he’s ever been. But Martin can’t stall. There is time, yes; but there is not enough. He gives the signal again and again, pleading.  _ Get it over with.  _ He’s struggling, fighting to make it as easy as possible for Martin to do what needs to be done.

_ “You let me make a difference, a place where even orphan immigrants can leave their fingerprints and rise up!” _

Jon is proud of himself, through it all. Even if he made a mistake, even if he allowed the world to become what it was, he also fought against it every step of the way. He tried to end the evil, even if he wasn’t perfect at it, and that’s all that really matters, isn’t it? Even if the difference wasn’t much, it was there. 

_ “I’m running out of time; I’m running and my time’s up; wise up!” _

Please, Martin, Jon whispers. There was never another way. Finally, Martin moves. Two steps toward Jon, then three, seven, ten. He’s running, but so slowly. Jon braces himself.

_ “Eyes… up. I catch a glimpse of the other side.” _

He wasn’t sure what it would feel like. It doesn’t hurt; at least, not as much as it should. His life doesn’t flash before his eyes, but he does see a light. It’s warm and bright and then gone as quick as it came, and he sees his friends.

_ “Laurens leads a soldier’s chorus on the other side; my son is on the other side!” _

Tim is smiling, for the first time since weeks before the last time Jon saw him. He looks just like he did back then, healthy, calm, too much gel in his hair and a joke on his lips. And Sasha, the  _ real  _ Sasha, is there too. Good to see you, Jon, she says. Ready to go?

_ “He’s with my mother on the other side; Washington is watching from the other side!” _

Of all the people Jon does not expect to see, it is his grandmother. Her brow is furrowed as always, but she has that little smile she used to get when Jon would tell her about his favorite new book. Gertrude stands next to her, and he realizes how similar the two women look. Stern, but proud. Collected, but happy to see him.

_ “Teach me how to say goodbye.” _

He’s fading fast, he knows. He looks to Tim, to Sasha, to Gertrude, to his grandmother. He's so scared. What do I do? he asks. They offer no advice. Surely there is something he can do, something he can say before he goes so Martin knows.

_ “Rise up, rise up… Eliza!” _

The apparitions are gone just in time for Jon to see Martin's face. He squeezes Jon’s hand. I'm sorry, Jon, he says. Jon shakes his head. There isn’t enough time. There are so many things to say:  _ you can do it. Make things better. Bring it all back. _ Go, is what Jon says. Martin nods, and charges Elias. Jon falls asleep smiling. 

_ “My love, take your time. I’ll see you on the other side.” _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and thanks for all the love on this fic! I've written a companion to it called "Who Tells Your Story," and it's from Martin's point of view. It would be great if you could check it out!


End file.
